how can i describe you

how can i describe you

how can i describe you

without seeming

unbearably sappy

and romantically redundant?

you are the first breath i took

when i rose screaming

from the womb

you are the marrow in my bones

where my life’s blood

is manufactured

you are the dawn

of a day that never ends

you are the fawn

frozen in the headlights

of my speeding life

the one i chose

to wreck my self

into the gutter

and across into the trees

to avoid hurting

you are the taste

of wine sap apples

on my tongue

the essence of cinnamon

and nutmeg

you are the appetizer

at my banquet

and the main course

and dessert

all served at once

you are the one

i was waiting for

before i even knew

i was waiting

you are the ferris wheel,

the merry-go-round,

the bumper cars---

the carnival of love

you are the gold crayon

in my crayola box

and the blue and yellow

and red and green

there is no picture

i might want to color

that i will not find myself

reaching for you

you are the one

of which there is no other

the prime cause

and end result

of all my days

you are what god gave me

as compensation

for my failure

to get to heaven

you are the pulse

in my wrist

and the pain

in my side

you take my breath away

and breathe life

into my lungs

all at the same instant

the cat who straddles me

and sucks my breath

and the paramedic

who gives the cpr

to bring me back from death

if i had never met you

then i would never have known

what love means

i would have stumbled

in the dark

blind to the meaning of light

if i had never met you

i would have never understood

the purpose of poetry

my talent would have been

so much sand

to be blown by an indifferent wind

you are my mother

and my child

my beginning and my end

and all the life between

i could have died

without knowing you

and my life would have ended

like the life of a fly

without so much as a whimper

but now i will scream in dying

trumpet like a bull elephant

at the outrage of mortality

how can i be

what i am

without being in love with you?

there is a simple equation

at work in my world now:

i love

therefore

i am

don’t think i am obsessed

i am as rational

as any man dared

hope to claim

as sane

as a psychiatrist on valium

and as calm

as a cow

who has been fed, bred and milked

yet

i love you still

and the crazy part of me

loves you

just as much

as my rational self

how can i describe you?

when i open the door

into the dark room of my heart

you are the light

that floods in

and illuminates my soul