There is so much that cannot be explained. You want it to be simple. This happened, then this, then this and finally this. But life never falls in straight lines. Life is a maze the solution to which is never revealed until the last turn is taken, the last line is drawn. People demand of you what you cannot give. They want to know the solution before you have plotted the course. They want the security of knowing that the writer, the author, knows the ending and is guiding them, step by step, through the process that will eventually lead to this ending.
They don't know you. They see you as some guide, some leader they can follow. But you aren't a leader. You are struggling to keep up with the images, the ideals, that pour into your brain unbidden. They want to believe in you and when they discover they cannot they blame you. You are at fault because you cannot give them the reassurance they are so desperatly seeking.
It's no wonder they believe lies when they are spoken with such self assurance. They yearn for someone to lie to them, someone to tell them the truth is just beyond their grasp.
They don't want to be told the truth is out there, somewhere beyond the reach of their teacher. They look for teachers who can end their search, can take away the burden of searching for themselves. Believe me, I know the truth. That is what they want to hear. They don't want to hear the truth is something they have to discover for themselves. They look to teachers who know the truth and they fault themselves for thier failure to understand.
You are not at fault. You have simply reached the end of the road that others can lead you to. They don't know the truth any more than you do. You want to believe they know more than you. You want to believe in the Truth. And there are many who would take advantage of your will to believe. They will sell you books and lectures and dvds and seminars none of which will lead you to the Truth but all of which will convince you it is your fault, some lacking in your desire and your will, that keeps you from knowing the truth.
And all along, the truth is simple and uncomplicated and you have known it in the past and only need to remember what you have forgotten.
Simple things like when you die your life ends.
Like all you have is this moment, this bubble in time, in which you live. That when you want to do something, you have to do it now. That putting things off to another day is refusing to do them at all. That if you love someone you love them now, in this moment. That love defered is love denied.
Things like you can only love each person you are with, and only then in the moment in which you live. That making claims to love people you don't know is just so much rhetoric, meaningless talk. To say that God is Love is the same thing as saying God doesn't exist.
Things like when you die your life ends.
There is no afterlife, their is only life and if you don't use the life you have, then you are damned and if you use the life you have, if you love each moment, each person you know, then you are alive. That the only difference between damnation and salvation, between Heaven and Hell, is in this moment, this decision each moment entails. Do I love you? The answer should be there even as the question is asked, be it yes or no.
I love you. Each person who reads these words. Now, in this moment, not in any other, not in some vague sense of Love...but in the specific sense of me keyboarding these words and you reading them...I love you. If you blink, if you hesitate, then the moment is past. Love only exist in the present moment. Love is the point at which our selves move through time. Or love is not. Love is an on off switch. Either it is present or it is absent. Love is a binary function. The switch is either on or off. There are no gradations, there is no dimmer switch. You either do or you don't.
Right now, in this moment, in the keyboarding of these words and in your reception of these words, there is love.
Ask me tomorrow if I love you and the answer will be different. Everything happens now. Nothing happens tomorrow and nothing happens yesterday. Now is the only time we have, now is our eternity.
The rest is illusion and a striving after the wind.
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About Me
- PJarrett
- I am from West Virginia. Born in New Martinsville to a minister's family. Traveled around West Virginia and Southern Ohio growing up. The only stability I got was from my mother's side of the family in Boone County. My Great Grandfather on my father's side was preaching in Madison during the Mine Wars. He ran for the state legislature on a pro-union ticket and won only to have the coal companies tie the results up in court so he ended serving only one day out of this term. My Grandfather on my mother's side stood with the miner's at Blair Mountain and died of Black Lung when I was still in my teens. I was raised a Conservative Christian...not a Fundamentalist. Strict separation of church and state based on the understanding that what makes for a good politician is pretty much the opposite of what makes a good Christian. I'm politically radical in that I believe in one man/one vote and the only way to have political equality is to have economic equality. I'm an atheist because once I accepted the fact of my own mortality I found no need for belief in God.
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