It's time to grow up and start seeing the world the way it really is and not the way we want it to be.

Monday, April 30, 2012

the coin that you pay with is one you once tossed




prisoned inside my private world
i watch dust devils dash and swirl
and lift the skirt of a nubile girl
i hear the wind raping the trees
i see the bruised and battered leaves
come crumbling down around her knees

i kid myself that i’m not mad
i’m not bitter, i’m not sad
that i don’t shed tears for love unknown
and my foolish fears haven’t left me lone
that i still walk the path between the stars
and i still can catch fireflies in jars

but i no longer seek the reason why
i giggle when i hear grown men cry
i’ve never lived, so i’ll never die
and dying is such a tired cliche
done to death and every day
is done again like dogs at play

i once knew rules and a thing called sin
i pattered prayers and mouthed amen
my faith was furious, but a trifle thin
i grew tired of seeking a savior to blame
i forgave myself, learned to live with my shame
found water or wine gurgles down the same drain


there is nothing left for any of us
a long ride to the grave in a short black bus
and all of our fuming and all of our fuss
cannot cajole the driver to changing his route
or opening the back and letting us out
so it’s best not to whimper, best not to pout

i look out the window over my kitchen sink
hidden in shadow, with coffee to drink
watching a young girl and trying to think
why a flash of white panties once felt like a fire
what it meant to be eaten, consumed by desire
but my dragon is flagging, too quickly i tire

i watch her walk by and she doesn’t see me
just as well since my lusting’s now limp apathy
and the pride of my loins can do nothing but pee
surely that is life’s lesson that i somehow had lost
you pay for your pleasures without knowing the cost
and the coin that you pay with is one you once tossed






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Suggested reading:

  • A History of the End of the World by Jonathan Kirsch
  • American Colossuss: The Triumph of Capitalism 1865 - 1900 by H. W. Brands
  • American Colossuss: The Triumph of Capitalism 1865 - 1900 by H. W. Brands
  • Life After Death by Alan Segal
  • Radicals for Capitalism by Brian Doherty
  • Radicals for Capitalism by Brian Doherty
  • The Science of Evil by Simon Baron-Cohen
  • The Science of Evil by Simon Baron-Cohen
  • Traitor to His Class: The Privileged Life and Radical Presidency of Franklin Delano Roosevelt
  • Traitor to His Class: The Privileged Life and Radical Presidency of Franklin Delano Roosevelt

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I am from West Virginia. Born in New Martinsville to a minister's family. Traveled around West Virginia and Southern Ohio growing up. The only stability I got was from my mother's side of the family in Boone County. My Great Grandfather on my father's side was preaching in Madison during the Mine Wars. He ran for the state legislature on a pro-union ticket and won only to have the coal companies tie the results up in court so he ended serving only one day out of this term. My Grandfather on my mother's side stood with the miner's at Blair Mountain and died of Black Lung when I was still in my teens. I was raised a Conservative Christian...not a Fundamentalist. Strict separation of church and state based on the understanding that what makes for a good politician is pretty much the opposite of what makes a good Christian. I'm politically radical in that I believe in one man/one vote and the only way to have political equality is to have economic equality. I'm an atheist because once I accepted the fact of my own mortality I found no need for belief in God.